you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
