Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
