sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
