A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
