I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
