DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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