You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That accounts for only three of the penises
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
