eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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