I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
