i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Houston, we have a squirter
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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