Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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