Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
