please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
