he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
