like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
