Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
