have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
