is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When are your genitals available?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
