Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
