i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
