I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
