Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
