I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
sex in a hospital.. check
So much Jack, so little girl.
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