that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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