Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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