I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
