I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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