youre lurking in front of me
I hate all girls vehemently.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
