I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
