Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
