I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
