he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Are we still banned from the library?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
