i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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