she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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