How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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