if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
