Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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