Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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