never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
