C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
