My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
