Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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