if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
