so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
