He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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