carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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