i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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