thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
