And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
