we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
