So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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